Blog Title: The Recovering Leader

Consider a leader who???s smart, task-oriented, and has high standards.  If their ambient level of stress is low, then their expectations of others and themselves likely aren???t problematic.  If it???s high, then they may have a ???should??? problem???something I see in my coaching practice fairly regularly.  These are leaders who fit the profile, and who are constantly disappointed and frustrated.  Why?  They have an internal list of the way things should be, and what they and others should and shouldn???t do, be, or know. 

When what seem to be healthy high standards are taken too far, and not clarified / communicated before folks run afoul of them, they become toxic, and the impact is usually on the should-er, and not the should-ee.  In fact, holding others to unspoken / unrealistic ???should??? standards is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.  You hurt mainly yourself when you find so much around you, well, unacceptable.

Indeed, acceptance, along with communication, is the solution to this self-induced situation.  That is, accept things as being the way they are.  Remember, acceptance doesn???t mean approval or agreement; it simply means realism???things are what they are.  Catch your pattern of ???should-ing??? and stress goes down.  Then communication can then kick in: ???here???s what I expect of you.  Here???s what I expect of myself.  Now is that reasonable and do-able?  Let???s work it out.???

As a leader, you owe it to yourself and your organization to check your should-factor, and ratchet it back to its positive intention: to want yourself and your team to do the best possible job.  Communicate your expectations and negotiate them openly until they???re agreed.  Barring that, it???s just toxic.

David Peck

Barack Obama has been elected with a mandate for a new kind of leadership. Here's my vision of the type of leadership framework needed to enable President Obama and his executive team to achieve the many important goals in the years ahead:

1. There is tremendous candor, trust, and healthy conflict among the Obama executive team.
2. They are responsible for how their own beliefs drive their behavior, decisions, and results as leaders.  They challenge their own???and each other???s??? beliefs in order to change outcomes.
3. They listen to the American People, each other, foreign heads-of-state, and others with open minds and hearts. They have a deep curiosity and open-mindedness to ideas, learning, and translating those into systemic change.
4. When they fail or make mistakes they admit them openly, make amends as appropriate, learn from them, and then apply the lessons-learned. 
5. They create transparent goals and progress measures, and share those openly with the world.
6. They are personally accountable for their impact on others, our community, and on the world overall.
7. They put the greater good of the world and that of the American People ahead of their political or personal needs or wants. 
8. They lead with great ethics, honesty, humility, integrity, and courageous authenticity of heart and mind.
9. They are driven, work hard, and committed to achieve.
10. They balance fierce realism with inspiring vision at all times.

Truly great leaders not only have most or all of these characteristics, but they inspire us to find them in ourselves by challenging our own beliefs and actions.

Finally, continue to be audacious.  Few things are more vital to the kind of transforming leadership our country so sorely needs.

David Peck

There has never been a better time to recognize that kindness is a necessity for true leadership.  When you treat others???and yourself???with greater care, you unlock untapped potential all around you.  In short, your people will want to be at their best, and to do their best work . . . and you will too.  Make it a daily practice to take a moment or two with yourself, and with each person you meet, to listen, and to show caring and warmth.  Leaders who do this regularly change lives for the better, and at the same time develop organizations with the strength and resilience to thrive in uncertain times.

David Peck

Note: Over 100 of these tips appear in my new book:  Beyond Effective: Practices in Self-aware Leadership. Click on the image of the book at the top of this blog for more information.

______________

Monday LeaderTips are posted here and emailed every Sunday evening to  leaders and professionals worldwide.  For a free anonymous subscription, send a blank email here.  LeaderTips are also carried, from time to time, on Business Week Online.

Is winning alone enough for you, or do you want to win something that creates a greater good?

Here's a must-read article by consultant extraordinaire Eric Klein on "undiscussables" that build up in organizations.  Check it out!

Many are tightly-wound these days, as there's plenty to stress and worry about when we so choose.  I was talking with a client yesterday about expectations and responsibilities, and came up with something that just seemed worth sharing with you:

Just for today, take off your tight outfit of apprehension, regret, worry, fear, or anxiety.



Wear your leadership, your work, your responsibilities, your profession, your uncertainties about the future and your life like loose, soft, comfortable clothes.

Dressed that way, practice walking gently in the world today.

David Peck

How you succeed is every bit as important as what you achieve.  In recent decades we have mortgaged the "how" to get quick wins???tremendous value was placed on consumption and cashing in.  Although the global economic and environmental tab for this approach is still being counted in the red, it comes with an opportunity for learning.  Reshape your idea of "achieving" to include how success can be reached while making a positive impact on others and the global community, even if it's a modest one.  What changes might that mean for you and your organization?  Answer that and you create sustainability, the ultimate long-term win.

David Peck

Note: Over 100 of these tips appear in my new book:  Beyond Effective: Practices in Self-aware Leadership. Click on the image of the book at the top of this blog for more information.

______________

Monday LeaderTips are posted here and emailed every Sunday evening to  leaders and professionals worldwide.  For a free anonymous subscription, send a blank email here.  LeaderTips are also carried, from time to time, on Business Week Online.

I've updated my list!  Hope you find it helpful . . .

David Peck

California Ballot Measure 8, which bans Gay Marriage previously legalized by the state's Supreme Court, passed by a healthy margin this week.  While one might say "the people have spoken," Yes-on-8 voters were inappropriately asked indirectly their own views about gay rights before they looked at the more foundational question of the appropriateness of such measures in the first place.

Specifically, Proposition 8 leapfrogged a more critical concern of whether ballot measures should enable a religious view to dictate what's acceptable in a state's business behavior.  And as we all know, separation of church and state is a key element of American democracy.  Similarly, it institutionalized discrimination.

To get to the heart of the matter, consider a more apt ballot question like: "Shall amendments to the State Constitution, past or present, enable the State to ban certain licenses for specific groups of people based on age, race, religion, gender, physical impairment, size, or sexual orientation?" I think the answer would be, indeed, no.

After all, once the state's constitution starts limiting licenses for religious reasons, it's not unreasonable to foresee the voters inappropriately taking aim at even scarier targets.

And if you think this is not a religious issue, then put the church's agenda aside and you end up with the absurdity of preventing certain groups of people from receiving other state licenses.  What's next?  No more driver's licenses for Native Americans?  No more business licenses for the handicapped? No more liquor licenses for recovering alcoholics?

Bottom line, the passing of Proposition 8 starts us circling the drain of discrimination and state-sanctioned religious bias.

Regardless of whether you think this is a church/state separation issue, which I think it is, or a discrimination issue, which is also a reasonable argument, here's my hope: next election cycle, let's get a new ballot measure in that addresses the core question of what we want???and don???t want???the state???s constitution to do to certain groups of people when it comes to issuing licenses.  That I would love to see in California, and other states, teed up for a fair vote during the next election cycle.

David Peck

Regardless of who you may have supported in the presidential election, we are blessed in this country to have a process that enlists the voices of all of us to enact change.

While many in this country were asleep at the switch of change during the last two elections, tonight's election was American Democracy at it's finest.

Tonight, I am prouder to be an American than I have been for eight years.

I am also grateful to have witnessed such fine leadership--from both candidates--in their speeches  post-election this evening.  This is a transformational time for the world, and at this historic moment, it's nice to see us get our mojo back.

Now, the real work of change begins, and our new president was clear: it's up to all of us.

David Peck

It's human nature to stay with what is familiar, even when we know that a big change is needed.  The prospect of venturing into the unknown comes with fear and risk.  After all, you're going to have to make choices absent the reassuring guidance of past experience.  It's so easy to imagine the downside of significant change, yet we owe it to ourselves to assess the hazards of maintaining things as they are. With this in mind, weigh the risks of a change you know is scary but necessary against those of the status quo.  In this practice, you will find a leader's wisdom and courage.

David Peck

Note: Over 100 of these tips appear in my new book:  Beyond Effective: Practices in Self-aware Leadership. Click on the image of the book at the top of this blog for more information.

______________

Monday LeaderTips are posted here and emailed every Sunday evening to  leaders and professionals worldwide.  For a free anonymous subscription, send a blank email here.  LeaderTips are also carried, from time to time, on Business Week Online.

What is the true nature of the choice on the ballot before us?

In these crazy final days before the presidential election, the campaigns are furiously trying to put it in stark contrast.  They are piling on false comparisons: "It???s about hope versus fear," "experience versus danger," "ready for office versus learn as he goes," "more of the same versus change," and the list goes on.  If these actually were our choices, then the polls wouldn't be so close.

And while all the juicy innuendo, fear-mongering, and character assassination make for good television, they tap something deeper in all of us: the need for the reassuringly familiar.  While bipolar choices and mud-slinging may smell bad, they are at the same time a worn old blanket to comfort us in such uncertain times???we complain, we are indignant about it, but, my friends, we get it, and it feels kind of good.  We're only human, and we need reassurance while the house of cards seems to be collapsing around us.

What's familiar to us is John McCain: the war hero, and a deeply-seasoned and sharp-edged Republican white man.  Unknown to us in so many ways is Barack Obama, the even-keeled, sharp-minded young black Democrat who literally rocketed from community organizer to presidential contender in a minute. Forget the colorful political ad contrasts???in reality, voters are either driven by longing for the devil they know, or the need to reboot the system with a bet on the unknown.

Then there's economic craziness, the dog days of multiple wars, and potential presidential transition terrorism.  These exaggerate the need for some sense of "normalcy," no matter how smelly it may be.

Is the familiar what is needed for the next four years?  Many think so, and many others think not.

Albert Einstein said, "You can???t solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it."  The great leaders challenge and move us to raise the bar on ourselves, which, for Election 2008, means waking up to the nature of the choice before us.

So let's not dumb it down to race, class or party.  It's about the familiar versus the unknown, and our best guess???in the form of one person, one vote???about who's likelier to deliver what is needed right here, right now, for the common good.

Forewarned is forearmed: may you avoid a kneejerk decision, and cast your vote wide awake to the nature of your own choice.

David Peck

Leaders who view uncertain times as full of opportunities tend to position their organizations ahead of the pack.  Significant time and effort are wasted by those who buy into conventional worries and popular fears.  Asking "What are the new possibilities presented by this situation?" allows for discovery and innovation, even in the face of stiff headwinds.  In fact, the more you open your mind to potential, the more you and your people will find novel ways to achieve.  Relieve yourself of any gloom and grab that new sense of freedom???you're likely to tap into answers that would otherwise remain hidden and inaccessible.

David Peck

Note: Over 100 of these tips appear in my new book:  Beyond Effective: Practices in Self-aware Leadership. Click on the image of the book at the top of this blog for more information.

______________

Monday LeaderTips are posted here and emailed every Sunday evening to  leaders and professionals worldwide.  For a free anonymous subscription, send a blank email here.  LeaderTips are also carried, from time to time, on Business Week Online.

Admit it: with 26 months of scalpel-sharp talking points and weasel-worded promises, the campaigns have worn you down.  Given the prolonged tsunami of campaign mud ("Socialist! Terrorist! More of the same!"), and pandering ("We???ll do healthcare for all, lower taxes, fix the economy, and end the wars at the same time!"), it's no wonder the polling numbers are so close, and so many of us are undecided about which chad to hang or dots to connect on the ballot.

If history is any guide ("Read my lips!  No new taxes???") a candidate's words don't shed too much light on how they will respond when faced with the actual complexities and crises of office.  Of course we hear their words.  But we didn't just fall off the turnip truck; we know that mostly they've told us what they think we want to hear and will get them elected. Yet as our votes hang in the balance, we wish we knew the real story???who's beholden to whom, and who're the key men and women behind the curtain. Add that to all the mud on our windshield???rhetoric, punditry, allegations, and robocalls???and our choice is even harder to make. 

That we must make a critical yet unclear leadership decision is not as daunting as it may seem.  As an executive coach, I happen to work with leaders every day, and I can't tell you how often???and how important it is???that they make clear-headed choices when much of what they need or hope to know is ambiguous.  In fact, each of us makes plenty, if not most, of our critical choices in life lacking any kind of full picture.  So rather than giving up or giving in, the question is: how do we make an important and ambiguous decision in the very best way possible?

Along those lines, here's a bit of executive coaching for you???just a few tricks of the leadership trade that may help you make a good call.  I warn you, what I'm going to suggest may seem a little unusual, but just bear with me.

Right before you touch the screen, hang the chad, or connect the dots, I need you to take a moment to let go of any strong feelings of apathy, anger, fear, or unhappiness.  As you cast your vote, just put this stuff aside and clear your head. Remember, as decisions go, this is one of the biggies . . . like popping the question, signing the deed, or pulling the plug.  Here's the tip: ask yourself two clarifying questions:

Then take a deep breath, check to make sure no one's looking, and cast your vote.

My point here is that better questions lead to better decisions.  I'm worried that, absent a helpful framework, many might make a hasty decision in reaction to the mudslide of misinformation, disinformation, and posturing to which we've all been subjected for so long now.  Given the state of affairs across the board, a reactionary vote is not what this country needs.  As a coach, I challenge you to pull yourself up above the fray when casting your vote.

We will all live in the future that your vote helps create.  Take responsibility by doing what's best for all of us.  If we learn anything from the post-9/11 wars and crises, it's that such accountability has been lacking, and that hasn't worked so well.

Bottom line, transparency and authenticity left the campaigns long ago, if they were ever there in the first place. So at this critical inflection point for the world, clear your mind of all the crud, even for a moment, ask yourself what's best, and who's more likely to steer us in that direction.  Then do the deed for yourself, and for all of us.

David Peck

Executive Coach and President

Leadership Unleashed